I Liked Funny Kitten Videos Before It Was Cool

Guy's incredible animal sex videos got me thinking of other videos with animals I like...

Not to toot my own horn here, but there have been a few things that have gotten popular throughout my life that I TOTALLY knew were cool before everyone else did. Among them:

1) Long shorts on girls. I started wearing long shorts ("boy" shorts if you will) when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, back when Daisy Dukes were the only shorts available and everyone thought I was either a boy or a 9-year-old lesbian. Then, in about 2006, they BLEW UP! If only my ridiculed, non-traditional girlish-yet-still-heterosexual young self would have known.

2) Short hair on girls. Now it's hugely popular. Back when I started... see "9-year-old lesbian" reference above.

3) FUNNY KITTEN VIDEOS

My partner in blogging, Guy, can attest to this, as can fellow Lady of Science Anne Zander. Funny kitten pictures/videos can make me laugh harder than almost anything. I know LOLcats and CuteOverload and CatsinSinks and all those websites already have this area covered. But it hopes that readers of this blog might be the type who don't pursue funny kitten pictures on their own, I will try to find the best of the best and post them, every so often, so that you may know the pure, MDMA-like intensity of laughing at cats.

percentage of my posts that have been about animal sex: 40%

but i am okay with that. you might have already caught this but my longtime hero Isabella Rossellini has put together (almost all on her own) a set of short films about how bugs and sea creatures do it. this is maybe the best:



but they're all pretty amazing. you can see the rest at the sundance channel website.

important things about this video:
-it comforts me that people make cheap animal costumes to share information about animal mating behaviors. this is something famous people can do for money! this is something i could do for money!
-Isabella Rossellini has a wonderful voice. these films give you license to imitate her voice. just try it! "i would have no penis" it's fun!

anyway take your time, watch all of these things. you'll learn so much!

"Internet Video that Makes Me Happy to Be Alive": Installment 1

Bad day? Bad month? Recession got you down? Wondering what the hell to do with your life?

This will cheer you up and remind you how wonderful it is to be alive.

BAT FIGHT with Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

The amazing photographer who took my headshots, Alden, played it for me before we took pictures, and that's why I'm smiling so much in all the shots!

Conservatives keep accidentally being sexy and/or gay

In a hilarious turn of events, conservatives can't stop making websites/movements with highly sexual names. Dirty ones, too. I'm sure everyone has heard this wonderful news already, but as this blog loves all things queer, I wanted to tip my hat to 2M4M, the new hate website/sexy gay craigslist add for the National Organization for Marriage, and the new patriotic trend that's sweeping the nation:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Follow Me On Twitter God Dammit

It's official. I'm a tweeter.

a tweetise of human nature

re: tweetaly

hey molly,
i'm sorry that i, like atlantis, have finally sunk beneath the waves into an ocean of tweets and twitters and dumb new twitter words that twitter defines for me on the sidebar every day (like twi-tty tassels). and it wasn't totally joe's fault (another's hands pulled me into these murky depths) so don't blame him (i don't know if you already were). but here i sit in the tweeting twilight of twitter's mesopelagic zone, the sunlight of the bounded physical world still touching my glassy eyes, its warmth still caressing my frozen bones, though i sink deeper and deeper into twittification each day.

and still have extended a hand up to the blogosphere where you float to pull you down to my desolate depths. this is what i truly regret. that by letting myself fall i have dragged you with me.

regrets,
-guy

Tweetaly tweetaly deet

Dear Guy (an inter-blog memo),

You were the last non-tweeting vestige of my life. John (my brother) hit that shit long ago, but I said Facebook Status Updates were satisfying my need to broadcast my mundane daily activities. Now everyone's mad at Facebook. Last week, Joe (boyfriend), joined Twitter and has replaced tweeting for absolutely all human interaction, including speaking with his girlfriend. No joke, i actually had to text him the other day while we were both in our tiny, one room apartment, just to get his attention.

And now with you, my blogging-partner-in-crime on this Tweeting business, I am considering it. After all, I do lots of inconsequential things I would like the world to know about.

Watch out, World. And Twitter. Here I come.

Love,
Molly
p.s. yes, this letter gradually transitioned from being a letter to guy to a letter to the world. give me a break. i'm still getting used to this blog thing.

i blog to another

i've gotta deal with some identity issues right now. i've got a twitter. i sorta swore i'd never go down that road and it's a lil bit weird to start down it while i'm really just getting started with this blog...road. but i really think we can all be happy. twitter will handle my delightful nonsequiturs while the blog will serve as a forum for my grandiloquent soliloquies. they serve two different functions! so nobody needs to get jealous.

here, this is my twitter: guydammit

i still love blog. and i love twitter. you guys just have to understand that i love you differently.

Sprintime and What it Means to Me: An Essay

I would like to post a For Better or For Worse column right now, but my internet apparently is not as excited to read the lastest Canadian musings of Ms. Johnston as I am. Instead, I will write an essay.

What Spring Means To Me
I am 23 years old. While this fun fact may seem irrelevant, it does mean that I have spent every year of my life since I was about 3 in a school setting-- until now. So, my life up to this point has taught me a few things about Spring- this I associate almost exclusively with the rhythm of being a student.
When you are in school (especially when you go to a heathenistic, dope-loving, sexually crazed liberal arts drunk tank like the one I went to) Spring Means the Following things:

• People start wearing less clothes
• People start fucking like bunny rabbits
• School is about to end. You're about to have no homework. Your life is about to get WAY better.
  
• Everyone's so happy, they start fucking EVEN MORE
• People are making travel plans. Old friends are coming into town. Friends are leaving for the summer. There is a general air of excitement at the prospect of new friends, new people, and new Fucking Prospects.
• People start smoking weed anywhere and everywhere. It suddenly seems completely appropriate to get high before work, class, or breakfast.
  
• Ditto for drinking.
• Life changes. Everything feels new again.

I am a lucky gal. Springtime has always been good to me, and I have had many happy Aprils and Mays full of bloody marys, brief and awkward romances, and outdoor drug consumption.

Now comes the turn. As the smell of thawing frozen garbage begins to fill the air and the streets of Bushwick begin to fill with people doing random-ass shit (i.e. driving giant remote control cars towards actual cars), I know Spring is almost here. But I am not in school. I am just a grown up, working. Will things still feel new and exciting and full of change and potential? I'm not sure.

Only time will tell, but if I didn't have to go to work in a few minutes, I would raise a mid-day toast to wish:

May Springtime always feel as good as it feels when you are a kid on a college campus.